While the Colossian and Ephesian Haustafeln issue different commands to masters, both commands use language which, if pressed literally, threatens to undermine the distinction between master and slave. The command, τὴν ἰσότητα τοῖς δούλοις παρέχεσθε (Col 4:1), can easily be read as a command to treat slaves as equals, while the command, τὰ αὐτὰ ποιεῖτε πρὸς αὐτούς (Eph 6:9), can easily be read as a command to serve slaves. Both of these interpretations, moreover, are well attested in the Greek patristic literature. Nevertheless, since the Haustafeln clearly envision the continuation of slavery within the Christian community, most modern commentators reject these egalitarian interpretations. No one, however, has attempted to explain why both Haustafeln at precisely the same point employ such vague and provocative language. Building on John M. G. Barclay’s 1991 article arguing that Paul’s instructions to Philemon are intentionally vague, I propose in this paper that the peculiar language employed in Phlm 16, Col 4:1, and Eph 6:9 attests a consistent and distinctive approach to the dilemma of slavery in the Christian community.